The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

Followers of the Catholic religion are not the only ones who need Lent

“As a Catholic (the furthest thing from a practicing Catholic, but a Catholic none the less) I observe, well at least am aware of, the Lenten Season. For those of you who don’t know, Lent is a 40-day period in which people give up something they enjoy doing in observance of Jesus Christ’s 40 days of fasting in the desert.”

As a Catholic (the furthest thing from a practicing Catholic, but a Catholic none the less) I observe, well at least am aware of, the Lenten Season. For those of you who don’t know, Lent is a 40-day period in which people give up something they enjoy doing in observance of Jesus Christ’s 40 days of fasting in the desert.

Besides being a religious observation, Lent is a great opportunity for people who got a late start on their New Year’s Resolutions. We’re already a week into the Lenten Season and I have yet to decide what I’m giving up, although judging by my physique and G.P.A. as of late, one could argue I gave up working out and studying.

While I may not know what to sacrifice for myself, I did think of a couple ideas that other people should consider giving up for Lent, and hopefully, forever.

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50-cent selling out

Even the biggest 50 haters (which I would definitely qualify as) have to admit that there have been few albums this century as impressive and commercially successful as Get Rich or Die Trying.

Fitty has learned that he doesn’t have to die trying to get rich, he can simply become a huge sell-out, not unlike the countless other rappers he dissed for doing the exact same thing.

Seriously, what reps the streets better than doing a song with a guy from ‘N Sync or being the face of Vitamin Water?

Since Kanye has supposedly pushed him into an early retirement from the rap game, 50 should take time this Lent to stop while he’s still somewhat ahead-before he totally ruins his thug image and is exposed for the no-talent media creation he truly is.

Jessica Simpson dating Tony Romo

Does anyone remember when Jessica was still riding the V-Train and let the entire world know it? Those days are clearly behind us as the queen of making millions, despite never actually selling any albums, has had every second of her love life covered by the media (and no, I’m not referring to Newlyweds).

It’s a little ridiculous when the biggest news of the NFL playoffs isn’t about any of the teams playing, but where an overrated quarterback, whom nobody would know or care about if he played for any other team in the NFL, went on vacation with a singer who has never had an album debut higher than number eight on the charts.

Granted Romo is an upgrade over Dane I’m about as funny as Schindler’s List Cook, but come on, do I really need to hear about Jessica Simpson wearing a pink Cowboys jersey on SportsCenter? The very thought of it is a sacrilege, and I hope to God there will never be another NFL playoffs ruined by something so ridiculous. So please Jessica, do all you can to keep football from resembling a crappy soap opera.

Browns fans thinking this will be our year

I must compliment all of Browns Nation for their fierce loyalty to one of the biggest jokes of a franchise in all of sports. And please spare me the talk of the glory days of the 60s, the Browns have been putrid for nearly 20 years. Anyway, I know last year’s 10-win season gave a lot of you hope. But please, do yourself a favor and accept the fact that you will return to your normal sorry selves for the ’08 season early this year so that it won’t hurt as bad when it actually happens.

Why you may ask? Because you’re Cleveland. The Drive, The Fumble, Tim Couch, I could go on for months. Face it, Drew Carey may think Cleveland rocks, but when it comes to sports the city by the lake is simply cursed. And please, try to act surprise when Pittsburgh beats you for the 15th and 16th time in a row this season.

VH-1 giving has been their own reality shows

Ok, it was cool at first giving everyone a chance to laugh at Flava Flav. But, seriously, were the people at VH1 so desperate for material they had to dig up the likes of Scott Baio, Bret Michaels, Salt-N-Pepa or any other bust-out who’s appeared on the Surreal Life? They may also want to work on a new station name considering Video Hits One doesn’t show a single music video from 11 a.m. until 3 a.m.

So as you see what you give up for Lent may not only be beneficial to you, but also to others around you as well. Good luck resisting temptation this season.

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