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The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

Stallone still absurd, FCC fines and Obama on Letterman

“In case you missed Sen. Barack Obama deliver the Top Ten list on the Late Show with David Letterman, I will give you the best nuggets. #4: I won’t let Apple release the new and improved iPod the day after you bought the previous model. #2: Pronounce the word nuclear nu-cle-ar.”

In case you missed Sen. Barack Obama deliver the Top Ten list on the Late Show with David Letterman, I will give you the best nuggets.

#4: I won’t let Apple release the new and improved iPod the day after you bought the previous model.

#2: Pronounce the word nuclear nu-cle-ar.

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Good news! New Kids on the Block is planning a comeback!

Of course, they’re all now between the ages of 37 and 39, so they’re not quite new kids, but whatever.

I assume everyone knows about Heath Ledger’s death. I don’t really have anything witty or clever to say about that, sorry. When something like this happens, it’s a tragic, heartbreaking thing for his family and friends. Not funny.

Well, one thing about this is somewhat funny. The woman who found Ledger’s body was an unlicensed masseuse. Oh my God! Apparently, New York takes that pretty serious. So serious, in fact, it’s a felony. Whatever.

There’s one other thing, although it’s not so funny. The kooks at Westboro Baptist Church (you know, the God hates you-know-what lunatics) picketed the Heath Ledger memorial at the SAG Awards Sunday.

They claim that Ledger is in hell because he defied the word of God and taught others so. It’s a movie, people, a … movie. Psychos.

Speaking of movies, Rambo was released Friday. I haven’t seen it yet, but I want to. Not because it’s going to be such a great movie but because it’s just something I have to see to believe.

Sure, he’s 61. He looks ridiculous. He can’t act his way out of a paper bag (Copland was an anomaly). But, still … I’ve got to see this.

Stallone admits to using HGH, or human-growth hormone, which he says is so important to a sense of well-being when you get older.

He also swears that HGH, which is nothing, will be over-the-counter within a decade. Sure.

In other ridiculous news, the FCC proposed a nearly $1.5 million fine against CBS last Friday. The governmental watchdog agency is reacting to an episode of NYPD Blue that showed the side of a woman’s breast prior to 10 p.m. in the Central and Mountain time zones.

The show aired in 2003.

On the bright side, I am going on a Britney sabbatical. I promise not to mention her name this semester. I’ll just have to figure out another way to squeeze in vag references. I won’t. let you down.

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