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The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

Seeing March releases could be a gamble

“The countdown has officially begun. February has passed and left behind heaping mounds of snow, ice and silver screen scrap in its wake. That means that March, as it roars in like a lion, brings with it some semblance of decent film making…some. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s just more fodder before the late spring releases.”

The countdown has officially begun. February has passed and left behind heaping mounds of snow, ice and silver screen scrap in its wake. That means that March, as it roars in like a lion, brings with it some semblance of decent film making…some. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s just more fodder before the late spring releases.

On March 14, director Neil Marshall, who brought us the critically acclaimed The Descent, has brought us what looks like another world of hopelessness and despair with Doomsday. The Reaper Virus has completely annihilated the population of the British Isles and there is an impending new outbreak on the horizon. Now, left up to the specialists in charge of containing this virus, the team quickly learns the horrifying magnitude of damage this virus has called. Why does this sound so familiar? I feel I’ve watched this before…long ago…like 28 Days ago…or maybe weeks.

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So I’ve decided, which I’m sure that several of my friends will agree that I will most definitely never grow up. You can understand, then, my level of excitement as one of my favorite childhood books comes to life on the big screen! On the 14th, check out Horton Hears a Who! Thank God I don’t have to endure another cartoon or Suess adaptation with Mike Myers. Jim Carrey hops back into the pages of our king of rhymes as the main protagonist of Horton. Deep in the Jungle of Nool, Horton the elephant lives day to day in a blissful naiveté. But one day, Horton encounters a whole new world of life and danger as he takes up post of defender of the Whos, a microcosm in need of protection for impending doom.

One of my favorite and most underrated actors has taken a role that might just destroy his career. But hey, even Halle Berry bounced back, right? Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond, In America) signed on for Never Back Down, a teen version of Fight Club without the grit or originality of Fincher’s masterpiece. As it unfolds as a sloppy hybrid between Laguna Beach and a teen UFC, Never Back Down finds Sean Faris under the tutelage of a mixed martial arts veteran (Hounsou) and in the fight of his life.  Step up to this challenge on March 14…or do what I’m doing and just stick with the Suess.

Who keeps giving Tyler Perry a camera? He returns for his…oh I don’t even know how many he’s spat out now…next film about a single mother on a trek down south. Her destination is Georgia. The death of her father, whom she has never met, has brought her to town and into the open and asinine arms of the Brown family. Bring on Madea for yet another family reunion. Should I even tell you the release date? Eh. You can look it up at IMDB.com if you’re that interested.

As I must finish with at least one film that I look forward to, I do hold out hope that March will bring us one noteworthy movie. Set between MIT and Vegas, 21 plays it’s hand on March 28. Ben Campbell is good with numbers. Really good. But those numbers come back to haunt him as he finds himself in a couple hundred thousand dollars in debt from his college experience. But the chance of a lifetime is presented to him by Mickey Rosa (Kevin Spacey), who trains an elite group of number-crunchers to count cards. Their training sessions take them to the casinos of the Vegas Strip. There, they take on the house with millions at stake. Based on actual events, 21 also stars Kate Bosworth and Laurence Fishburne. It’s a gamble, but it might be worth the price of admission.

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