The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

Obama can't bowl and Leno has no soul

“Gutt got the boot Tuesday night. How could you people? He’s only the sweetest guy ever. Sure, he might not have been in a movie since … OK, I don’t remember when, but who cares? He’s so sweet! Wow, Jay. Did you really think the gay jokes would fly? Tsk, tsk.”

Gutt got the boot Tuesday night.

How could you people? He’s only the sweetest guy ever.

Sure, he might not have been in a movie since … OK, I don’t remember when, but who cares? He’s so sweet!

Story continues below advertisement

Wow, Jay.

Did you really think the gay jokes would fly? Tsk, tsk.

There are two issues here, really.

First, gay jokes don’t really work these days, for a variety of reasons.

Second, gay jokes really, really don’t work when they’re not even funny.

To bring you up to speed, Jay Leno asked guest Ryan Phillippe (who was promoting Stop-Loss) to give him his gayest look.

You see, Phillippe’s first job was playing a gay teen on One Life to Live.

That’s not even funny. It’s pretty offensive.

However, he has stated he didn’t mean any malice. No one is saying he was being malicious. He doesn’t get it; he doesn’t recognize the insensitivity and impropriety of such a comment. He also doesn’t know funny.

Oh well. He’s just killing time until Conan O’Brien takes over anyway.

Big news on the Beyonce front. She and Jay-Z have recently obtained a marriage license. Whoop-de-do.

In other marriage news, Brangelina were rumored to have gotten married over the weekend.

Turns out, they didn’t. Who cares?

On second thought, should it read, Brangelina was? I am going on record to declare Brangelina a collective noun, like faculty or media. So, were it is.

Hillary Clinton played an April Fool’s Day joke Tuesday.

She proposed a winner-take-all bowl-off in Pennsylvania with Barack Obama. She sportingly offered to spot him two frames.

Of course, that came on the heels of the report that Obama had bowled … a 37.

Really?

OK, that’s embarrassing.

Weird news of the week: Former pro wrestler Hardbody (aka Harrison Norris)was sentenced to life in prison for sex trafficking, forced labor and aggravated sexual abuse.

Say what?

He claims he only ran a training camp to help women become pro wrestlers. Prosecutors say he was forcing women into prostitution.

As the story goes, Norris kept eight women as sex slaves in two of his Georgia houses. The women were not only forced to have sex with customers, they had to haul trees, lay sod and paint, reports said.

I’m not going to make any jokes about this. I want to, but I won’t.

Leave a Comment
Donate to The Buchtelite
$250
$500
Contributed
Our Goal

Your donation will support the student journalists of The University of Akron. Your contribution will allow us to keep printing our magazine edition, purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.

More to Discover
Donate to The Buchtelite
$250
$500
Contributed
Our Goal

Comments (0)

All comments that are well-informed, civil and relevant to the story are welcome. To leave a comment, please provide your name and email address. The Editorial Board reserves to right to remove any comment that is submitted under false pretenses or includes personal attacks, libel, hate speech, profanity, spam or inaccurate/misleading information. All comments are screened and are generally approved unless they are found to be found in violation of these standards. Readers who notice comments that appear to violate these standards are encouraged to contact the Online Editor at [email protected].
All The Buchtelite Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *