“To lose a child is a parent’s worst nightmare and unfortunately for one Texas mother it has become a sad reality. Missy Evans is grieving the loss of her son 21-year-old son, Nikolas Evans. He died nine days after he got in an altercation outside an Austin bar on March 27, where he sustained a head injury that proved to be fatal.””
To lose a child is a parent’s worst nightmare and unfortunately for one Texas mother it has become a sad reality. Missy Evans is grieving the loss of her son 21-year-old son, Nikolas Evans. He died nine days after he got in an altercation outside an Austin bar on March 27, where he sustained a head injury that proved to be fatal.
Her decision of what to do after her son’s death was an unusual one. She wants to have his sperm. This is unprecedented case. Evans requested an emergency hearing. She petitioned to have her son’s sperm so she has the possibility of having grandchildren through a surrogate mother. Travis County Probate Judge Guy Herman ordered to preserve the body so the sperm could be collected.
She said her son wanted children. She wants to fulfill his wish to have three sons, but is that why she is doing it? Is she really following her son’s wishes? He wanted to have sons, but did he want to have them this way? She is acting out of grief and the unimaginable idea of losing her son.
I want him to live on. I want to keep a piece of him, she said.
She sees a way of having a piece of him, but is she thinking of her future grandchild? This child will essentially be raised with no parents, and while many children are raised by grandparents this is a unique situation. How will knowing that his or her father was dead before they were born affect them? Facing the reality that they will never have the chance to met their father, or play with him, or know him has to be unbelievably sad and even traumatic.
Right now is a really good day because I feel hopeful for the first time since he passed away that I have something to look forward to, and that even though he’s gone, that I can have a grandbaby, Evans said when the judge gave the order.
The possibility of keeping his memory alive through a baby is stopping her from fully grieving because as long that is a possibility she won’t be able to move on. She has another son so it isn’t as though she doesn’t the chance to grandchildren from him, but going down this road of collecting sperm and surrogate mother is not allowing her to move on.
Evans is going to extreme lengths to remember her son. She is going to have to raise this child. She will have to tell this child what happened to his or her father, and how they were conceived.
This mother is acting out of grief. She wants her son’s legacy to live on. She sees this as a way of keeping a piece of her son alive but at the same time, this child is not her son. Being compared and being a living shrine to a dead father would put enormous pressure for a child.
While in the midst of her grief for her son, the creation of a grandchild seems like the right solution. She needs to think of what that would mean for the child because having a genetic piece of her son won’t bring her son back.