TSA too tyrannical for travelers

It is without doubt that many students have traveled or will be traveling this holiday season. Beware that many airports around the country have instituted new, invasive procedures that may ruin your experience. Thanks to new Transportation Security Administration standards, be prepared to be violated.

For those of you who haven’t heard, due to threats of terrorism, our government has overreacted and overreached with some new security measures, the first of which is nude body scanners. These devices take an X-ray photo that tends to be more X-rated, as it sees through your clothes in great detail. Have no fear, only members of the same sex will be looking at these photographs, but rumors of abuse have already begun. Pictures of unsuspecting victims have surfaced on the Internet as their right to privacy has been attacked.

If you choose to opt out of this embarrassment, you will be subject to a highly controversial pat-down procedure. Your genitals will be groped and prodded, and the security agents won’t even buy you dinner.

Elderly women have complained that they feel as though they have been raped; bladder cancer patients have been uncontrollably urinating in public and even small children can expect this aggressive search for underwear bombs.

What happens if you decide that neither instance is worth it? You are held at the airport until you come up with $11,000 to pay the fine. The goal of this invasion is to be so over the top that travelers choose the scanner. However, I take issue with unintended consequences that have yet to be addressed.

           First, the health risks are not considered. Being subjected to X-rays has been known to increase the chances of getting cancer. Even at hospitals, our medical practitioners frown upon excessive X-ray and C/T scans because of radiation. Our airports won’t provide a lead suit to avoid possible exposure, because they want you in all of your glory. I fear that in another 50 years, frequent flyers will end up sick and bald from chemotherapy simply because of a fear-driven overreaction.

          But back to the alternative pat down for a second. TSA agents do not have to change gloves throughout the day, so germs from people that may have diseases can easily be spread. Ladies, please do not wear a skirt!

         Second, none of these security measures deal with the possibility of weaponized suppositories. The scans can only see what is under your clothes, not what you are hiding in nether-regions. Do they really think that terrorists aren’t smart enough to come up with something that can be hidden inside the human body? Of course they can. Each stage of attack has come from a different method, and that is not likely to change any time soon.

         Third, because of one failed underwear-bomb-wearing maniac, our entire nation is now subjected to these TSA abuses. The entire goal of terrorism is to knock America off its axis, and that is exactly what has happened. Our freedom is in jeopardy, as a police state is being instituted under the guise of safety. By catering to this irrational fear of terror, we are giving strength to those who want to see us destroyed. How better to bring about the destruction of the greatest nation on Earth than to scare us into doing the job ourselves? I hate that it is working so well.

         This is what happens when you rely too heavily on political correctness. Because the government is too afraid to profile, even though most terrorists have similar backgrounds, our children and grandmothers must be put through embarrassing torment.

         Is it too hard to do a background check when people buy tickets in advance? I’d rather deal with that than getting shot up with radiation whenever I want to take a vacation. If someone buys his tickets the day of the flight, he may be suspicious as well, and then should be aware that possible security measures will be taken. That would surely make most Americans feel better; knowing that their privacy won’t be stripped, their privates won’t be groped, and that their cancer cells may lay dormant a little longer.

        Students, if you must deal with this situation over the holidays, please opt for the scanner. A one-shot dosage of X-rays may not be harmful, and at least you won’t lose your virginity to a TSA agent. Personally, I will never fly again if things aren’t changed, but the choice is yours. Just be aware of the possible consequences.