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The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

Warm weather, short skirts lead to staring

“Ms. DoRight, With the weather suddenly nice, women have started dressing differently. I like it. Well, I like it sometimes. There are all these girls with short skirts on and little tank-tops, and I can’t stop staring. Some of them don’t even look good, but I still stare.”

Ms. DoRight,

With the weather suddenly nice, women have started dressing differently.

I like it.

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Well, I like it sometimes.

There are all these girls with short skirts on and little tank-tops, and I can’t stop staring.

Some of them don’t even look good, but I still stare.

The other night, a girl at the bar called me a pig because I kept staring at her legs, which were mostly naked except for about a four-inch skirt.

I don’t think what I did was wrong.

Wasn’t that the reason she was showing off her legs?

Why shouldn’t I stare?

Thanks,

I Like Short Shorts

Short Shorts,

The spring and summer months always present this problem.

If April showers bring May flowers, then Mayflowers bring pilgrims in revealing clothes.

It can be tragic, but it’s a fact of life.

I understand your problem.

I don’t necessarily check out women in skirts, but I understand that some legs are nicer than others.

That’s fact of life number two.

No, it was not wrong of you to stare.

It’s a perfectly natural response, one that you don’t have to be ashamed of us.

However, it’s presumptuous and rude of you to assume that someone would don a skirt just for your amusement.

If you recall, it has been winter in Northeast Ohio for almost five months.

Wearing a skirt is a sign of spring.

It’s similar to a man shaving off his beard.

Getting rid of the trappings of winter is important for morale.

Fact of life number three.

Staring at a woman’s legs does not make you a pig.

However, it is rather piggish to stare at those legs because you assume they exist only so you can gawk like a moron.

Do you wear shorts just so people all over town can eyeball your hairy calves?

If so, maybe you should stop.

No one is really that into your legs.

If you can admit that you don’t think all women look good in skirts, wouldn’t it be just as simple to stop staring at those women?

The easiest part about people is that we can ignore them whenever we please.

An unappealing woman in a short skirt is not like a car wreck, you know.

It’s an easy enough sight to turn away from.

Keep in mind that the warm weather has just started.

Soon, people will be standing outside for hours and hours in various stages of undress.

I hope you can handle all the skin.

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