“Kristi Yamaguchi really won me over this week. She was unbelievably amazing. She got a perfect score. It was well-deserved. It was the best dance I’ve seen all season. Plus, she was born with club feet. Come on. And, Mario? Yowza. With the open shirt, the moves, the music … yowza.”
“

Kristi Yamaguchi really won me over this week.

She was unbelievably amazing.

She got a perfect score.

It was well-deserved. It was the best dance I’ve seen all season.

Plus, she was born with club feet.

Come on.

And, Mario? Yowza.

With the open shirt, the moves, the music … yowza. Jason who?

According to Carrie Ann, Mario’s rumba was better than good sex. I’ll leave it at that.

Plus, when he talked to his little brother?

Very cute.

How he got thrown into the bottom two, I’ll never know.

The country number had some special moments.

And by that, I mean Jason Taylor.

Obviously.

Did you see how he lifted his partner up onto his shoulder?

Zowie.

Marlee Matlin got the heave-ho. You had to see that coming.

I don’t know if anyone else noticed this, but on the results show, there was a segment about the judges.

They called it Judgement Day.

No, that’s not a misspelling.

It’s how they spelled it.

Maybe this is British DWTS.

I probably shouldn’t give them a hard time.

After all, there’s a good chance that there’s a misspelling in the headline for this column.

I caught Oprah on Tuesday afternoon.

By accident, mind you.

The show was all about going green.

Now, I’m not against it, but get this … this woman was showing how you can turn food waste into compost in a short six months, that you can then dump into a covered basin full of earthworms which will eat the equivalent of their body weight each day and then you can use their waste in your yard.

Did you get that?

If that’s what it means to go green, count me out.

Oh, and Julia Roberts announced that she doesn’t wear deodorant.

Not because of the aluminum thing, mind you.

She doesn’t even know why she doesn’t.

OK.

The Rock of Love reunion show was something of a letdown.

Thank God for the cat fight between Heather and Daisy, who is strangely looking better these days.

Did she have work done?

Regardless, Heather gave her a beat-down.

Oof.

However, when Bret Michaels was holding Destiney’s hand as they watched the footage of her dad riding with Bret, he really won some major points.

Her father died of cancer several weeks ago.

Bret was crying.

What a good guy.

Now if he’d just lose the bandana and the eyeliner.

“