New dress code bad for eyes, good for sanitation and health

” The Rec Center recently announced its new and improved dress code. Apparently, it replaced the one that basically said Don’t exercise naked. In a few weeks, visitors to the Rec Center will have to wear shirts. With sleeves. Sorry, folks. The days of exercising in a sports bra are over.”

The Rec Center recently announced its new and improved dress code.

Apparently, it replaced the one that basically said Don’t exercise naked.

In a few weeks, visitors to the Rec Center will have to wear shirts. With sleeves.

Sorry, folks. The days of exercising in a sports bra are over.

Let’s not minimize the impact this could have on other exercisers. There’s a good chance that some people really enjoyed seeing college students exercising in a bra.

Scratch that. That’s a certainty.

The new dress code also prohibits anyone from working out in tank tops or sleeveless shirts, which is a bummer for everyone.

If you’ve ever been to the Rec, you’re familiar with the guys who use free weights. You know, the ones who work out in front of the mirror, obsessed with watching their muscles bulge as they do curls. Yes, you’ve watched with a strange fascination as well.

Either you cannot believe the guy is unabashedly ogling himself in public, or you’re also unabashedly ogling him. It’s one of those.

Surely the new policy is going to alter that view. Everyone is bound to be disappointed.

You should quit your grumbling, however. How many people do you see actually wiping down the machine after they use it?

Do the math. Person A is wearing a tank top and has ringworm. Person A uses a leg machine in an intense workout and leaves a disgusting, revolting ring of sweat and God-knows-what-else on the machine. Person A then walks away.

Person B, who is wearing a tank top, approaches the machine several minutes later, unaware that Person A is a rude, inconsiderate schmuck who doesn’t wipe down machines after using them.

Several days later, Person B develops ringworm. Person B then wants to wring someone’s neck for spreading the ringworm.

If you’ve never had ringworm and really want to know what you’re missing out on, by all means, when no one is looking, lift your shirt and rub it on every machine between now and May 19. Maybe you’ll get lucky. Then, write a letter to the editor and let us know how much you enjoy that itchy little fungi.

If you go to the Rec Center’s Web site, you will notice that an information sheet regarding MRSA, or staph infections, has been posted there. That doesn’t mean that anyone has gotten staph at the Rec, of course. But, the information is available, if you’re interested, for some reason.

Don’t worry. We know that you’ll be wearing a T-shirt under protest.

But at least we won’t have to hear you protest when you break out in those attractive-looking sores known as impetigo. Now there’s a pretty sight.