Jason Taylor owns dancing with the stars

“For the next few weeks, I should probably turn this column into the Jason Taylor report. Holy Toledo. He is not the most impressive on Dancing With the Stars, but he sure is the … what’s the word? Oh yeah, hottest. I thought Cristian was going to be the one to watch, but he’s something of a letdown, especially compared to JT.”

For the next few weeks, I should probably turn this column into the Jason Taylor report.

Holy Toledo.

He is not the most impressive on Dancing With the Stars, but he sure is the … what’s the word? Oh yeah, hottest. I thought Cristian was going to be the one to watch, but he’s something of a letdown, especially compared to JT.

It’s official: Bey-Jay are married.

OK, that might not be a moniker along the lines of Brangelina or Bennifer, but it works, right?

If you don’t know who I mean, it’s Beyonce and Jay-Z.

Paris Hilton is blogging. I won’t tell you where because I do not support this. OK, OK, OK. It’s on her MySpace Celebrity page.

Anyway, she mentioned launching her new shoe line in Montreal and wrote, the shoes are there top seller there. Argh.

If you don’t know what is wrong with that quote, please stop reading. And get thee to an English class.

OK, Rock of Love II concludes this Sunday. To bring you up to speed, Bret Michaels has eliminated all but two women from his house – Daisy and Ambre. Yes, that’s spelled correctly.

Daisy is a petite dancer – they prefer not to be called strippers, I’ve heard – who still lives with her ex-boyfriend in a one-bedroom apartment, even though they broke up two years ago. Sure.

Ambre is level-headed and … normal. I don’t know why she’s on the show, to be honest. Last week, there was a slight issue when Bret learned that she was 37, although she had previously told him she was 32. Oops.

And, if you get a chance, check out last week’s episode. He took Destiney (yes, also spelled correctly) to a tattoo parlor, where she got the show’s insignia – the heart with the two swords – tattooed on the back of her neck. Whatever.

Then he eliminated her. Priceless.

In the 20-plus years since he hit the stage, he appeared on camera without a bandana. He has really pretty hair. If you’re a girl. Wearing eyeliner.

However, the hair is probably a weave. It simply doesn’t look natural. He should accept the fact that he is in his 40s and having ’80s hair band hair might not be practical at this stage of the game.