“Ms. DoRight, A few weeks ago, I was at the bar with my friend when an unpleasant topic came up, but I just ignored it. Now I’m thinking I should have said something. She and I were in the restroom, and I was waiting my turn. When she was done, I went into the stall and got ready to hover.”
“

Ms. DoRight,

A few weeks ago, I was at the bar with my friend when an unpleasant topic came up, but I just ignored it.

Now I’m thinking I should have said something.

She and I were in the restroom, and I was waiting my turn.

When she was done, I went into the stall and got ready to hover.

I like my friend, but I was completely grossed out when I saw pee on the seat.

It might not have been her pee, but one can only assume.

First, how do I tell her to watch her aim without sounding like a creep?

Second, how do I tell her that, if she does pee on the seat, she needs to wipe it off?

Thanks,
Pissed about pisser

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Pissed,

Wow, sounds like urine trouble.

This is a strange topic.

For some reason, men seem more at ease talking about bathroom humor.

Women, on the other hand, understand that there isn’t anything humorous about misplaced urine.

There is something unsanitary, sure.

But not funny.

With that said, accusing a friend of unsanitary practices can be an unsettling experience for you and your friend.

When you walked out of the stall, you could have made a joke about pee being on the toilet seat.

But then again, pee isn’t funny, so a joke wouldn’t have gone over so well anyway.

Have you wondered what your friend has against toilet seat covers?

In fact, do you ever wonder what most women have against this handy sanitary apparatus?

There is no friendly or tactful way to tell someone to watch their aim.

It’s a skill like any other: some people can do it, some can’t.

If you don’t want to be her friend anymore, buy her a portable training potty.

These work wonders for two-year-olds. If their aim is too poor, they just go back to diapers.

As for telling her to wipe the pee off the seat, this will be awkward no matter what.

How often does urine come up in conversation anyway?

So, bringing it up will make her think something’s amiss.

In fact, that might be a good segue.

Something is amiss: Urine.

“