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The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

Basketball coach fired over victory

“After his basketball team defeated an opposing team by a score of 100 to zero, Micah Grimes was fired. Why? The opposing team, which has not won a game in four seasons, specializes in working with students with learning disabilities. By the way, the school that Grimes was coaching for is a Christian academy.”

After his basketball team defeated an opposing team by a score of 100 to zero, Micah Grimes was fired. Why?

The opposing team, which has not won a game in four seasons, specializes in working with students with learning disabilities.

By the way, the school that Grimes was coaching for is a Christian academy.

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Seriously?

The young Christian girls basketball team destroys another team, winless in four seasons, whose players have learning disabilities.

Sounds very Christ-like.

The coach refused to apologize.

Refused the notion that him and his team ran up the score.

He said that they stopped playing at their fullest three minutes into the game, when they had already scored 25 points.

The school apologized, though.

No matter what the school or the coach says, the solution to the problem was simple.

Tell your players to stop scoring points.

Tell them to let the other team take some shots.

By the way, the losing coach estimated that his team took at most 7 shots throughout the entire game, at the Grimes’ players continue to sink three-pointers into the fourth quarter.

Three point shots? Really?

This is probably why our children shouldn’t play sports.

It just teaches them to be cut-throat competitors with no compassion for the opposing team.

This is probably why Wal-Mart runs family owned companies out of business and why we’re constantly trying to one-up the Joneses next door.

Grimes probably played sports as a child and learned that winning was the only thing that mattered, no matter who the opponent was.

Sports. Instead we should have our children participate in activities that focus exclusively on team-building and mutual sacrifice.

Of course, sports do prepare our children to participate well in the capitalist system.

But, just maybe, spending time building bridges or learning synchronized swimming routines would prepare them better.

Just imagine – years from now, the youth of today will not walk past a homeless person with a cold expression on their face.

They will walk by with a smile, handing out free food.

Just imagine – years from now, Wal-Mart will not run people out of business, it will be forced to close its own doors.

People will shop at local businesses almost exclusively, willing to pay a little more for the things they need in order to support their community.

Or maybe we should just teach them martial arts, so that when the opposing basketball team beats them 100 to nothing they can just kick some ass in the parking lot.

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