Waitressing at it's finest

“As a waitress, I’ve witnessed things no other human being should have to witness – other people eating. There’s nothing more terrifying than a hungry human being. It is a fact that hunger causes a drop in blood sugar, which causes irritability, in turn triggering unnecessary rage.”

As a waitress, I’ve witnessed things no other human being should have to witness – other people eating.

There’s nothing more terrifying than a hungry human being. It is a fact that hunger causes a drop in blood sugar, which causes irritability, in turn triggering unnecessary rage. And who better to take your needless rage out on then the innocent server who is waiting on you hand and foot?

Despite being in the food service industry since the tender age of 15, I am still surprised at the viciousness of the general public when it comes to their food. I’ve never, in any other job I’ve held, experienced such cruelty and nastiness.

I think there ought to be a dining license everyone has to acquire before they’re allowed to order out. They must go through training classes, in which they have to wait tables and try to make ends meet for two weeks solely on the money they earn as servers. Of course, that will never happen. Not unless I become president of the United States, that is.

Now I know I can’t be the only person out there who has to slave away at a dead end job to make ends meet in the collegiate milieu. We work tirelessly at movie theaters, restaurants, bars, coffee shops, retail establishments, fast-food chains, malls and department stores with the hope that one day, with our fancy college degrees, we will find a real job.

Until then, how are we supposed to put up with the wretched, evil, soul-sucking consumer? I say, just smile. I’m not exactly the most happy-go-lucky individual and I’ve certainly been caught many a time with a scowl spread across my sour face. Unfortunately, you cannot kill these customers with knives or guns, but you can kill them with kindness.

The other day I was waiting on an elderly couple who could not be pleased. The food was too cold. Their coffee practically frozen over. The restaurant air conditioning was on too high and they were freezing to death. It was enough to make me want to rip out my hair in tufts. But instead of reciprocating their rudeness, I remained pleasantly professional.

They complained about their food, so I took it back to be reheated and handed it back with a smile on my face. I took their cold coffee and promptly replaced it with a steaming cup. Also, I kindly asked the manager to please turn up the heat because customers were complaining. By the end of the meal they were praising my service and telling my manager how pleasant and hospitable I was.

They tipped 10 percent.

No matter what you do, some people are going to be ignorant fools.

But, as long as we handle ourselves with professionalism in these squat, meager paying jobs right now, we’ll better be able to handle ourselves with professionalism in the corporate world.

So, hang in there students/waitresses/bartenders/coffee slingers/cashiers/burger flippers! We will get what we deserve in the end…and so will they.