The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

Our View

“These days, defensive lineman Cowles Stewart is crushing more than just opponents from Morgan State. He’s now added skulls to the list. And why did he do it? The man weighs 295 pounds, so we can safely assume it wasn’t because he wanted to prove he was tough.”

These days, defensive lineman Cowles Stewart is crushing more than just opponents from Morgan State.

He’s now added skulls to the list.

And why did he do it?

Story continues below advertisement

The man weighs 295 pounds, so we can safely assume it wasn’t because he wanted to prove he was tough.

According to 19 Action News, he did it for a woman! How cute.

Is that really what chivalric code has taught us?

In all honesty, it kind of has!

After all, laws of physics clearly state that for every action there will be an equal reaction.

And what about the beloved old testament? Eye for an eye.

Even history teaches us that it will eventually repeat itself.

According to 19 Action News, Stewart’s offensive behavior was due to a police report filed against the victim, Leonard Kiehlmier, two days earlier when he allegedly assaulted a woman.

More importantly, who remembers the old adage, actions speak louder than words?

With that being said, it’s probably safe to say that Stewart is not majoring in communication.

For a defensive lineman, at least he knows there is one thing he is good at throwing: hooks.

He doesn’t waste any time either!

The incident report states the victim was on a porch when Stewart blind-sided him in mid conversation. How rude!

Didn’t his mother ever teach him that it’s impolite to interrupt people while they’re talking?

Manners might not be important to him, but even football players know that timing is everything.

Hopefully it was worth it, because he may be tackling more than just a suspension, pending on the criminal case outcome.

Leave a Comment
Donate to The Buchtelite
$250
$500
Contributed
Our Goal

Your donation will support the student journalists of The University of Akron. Your contribution will allow us to keep printing our magazine edition, purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.

More to Discover
Donate to The Buchtelite
$250
$500
Contributed
Our Goal

Comments (0)

All comments that are well-informed, civil and relevant to the story are welcome. To leave a comment, please provide your name and email address. The Editorial Board reserves to right to remove any comment that is submitted under false pretenses or includes personal attacks, libel, hate speech, profanity, spam or inaccurate/misleading information. All comments are screened and are generally approved unless they are found to be found in violation of these standards. Readers who notice comments that appear to violate these standards are encouraged to contact the Online Editor at [email protected].
All The Buchtelite Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *