Become a Fan of Not Fanning Everything

Sitting here at 1:45 a.m. in the void between sleeplessness and consciousness, trying to keep off of Facebook and on task, I can’t help but notice something about all my Facebook friends.  For some reason, the news feed has recently been spammed up with Patrick McKenna became a fan of ‘I brush my teeth every day, twice a day!  Seriously, what’s the point of these fan pages?


Sitting here at 1:45 a.m. in the void between sleeplessness and consciousness, trying to keep off of Facebook and on task, I can’t help but notice something about all my Facebook friends.  For some reason, the news feed has recently been spammed up with Patrick McKenna became a fan of ‘I brush my teeth every day, twice a day!  Seriously, what’s the point of these fan pages?

Sure, if the fan page gives a giggle or two, fan it.  But others are just completely ridiculous.  Why would someone become a fan of something that everybody does? Might as well become a fan of breathing as well.  

Most people are  fans of a few favorite bands, some TV shows from their younger year and a few sports teams, but try to keep it to a minimum.  

No one should go around clicking Become a fan! just because it says that 12 of one’s friends also became fans. I am beginning to think that most people have begun making pages in order to make up for the lack of friends that they have outside of the Internet.

Here’s a group that is pretty eye catching: I <3 Weekends! This page-fanning fad is bringing back memories of commercials for diet pills.  They’ll always find something that everyone can relate to, which is pretty much everything since it’s so darn vague.  I honestly can’t think of anyone who doesn’t <3 weekends. 

Then there are the groups that make people learn way too much information about someone.  Groups like Ever Look At Your Ex and Think, Was I Drunk Our Whole Relationship or Late Night Drunken Sex.  Really people? These fan pages may be worse than Texts From Last Night.

Groups that are in all capital letters are just stupid too.  When caps lock is seen on a computer screen, one’s mind starts yelling.  It’s very uncomfortable at wee hours of the evening when I am sleepy, like now.  No one appreciates being traumatized by mental screams before bedtime about how someone hates liars or has cheated on a test before.

A few friends also recently fanned I use my phone as a flashlight, and hit random buttons to keep it lit! Wow, what an innovative and groundbreaking idea! Never thought of that one. Next time someone is looking for the other earring that fell under a bed, try using a phone. When it goes dark, consider hitting a few so-called random buttons to keep it lit. Thanks for the survival tip, Bear Grylls.

Today’s the day to clean out the Fan page area on Facebook.  Just delete all that stuff out of there.  The only thing one gets out of fan pages is more judgment.