We have all had uncomfortable moments that are related to sex. Whether it was that horrible educational talk they give you in school, or an equally appalling conversation with your parents, regardless of specifics, the event probably happened to you. Now leaving the home front, we encounter something entirely new: the roommate.
The roommate ushers in a new style of life. This new style will bring into question one thing more than any other. I am not talking about questions of religion or virtue, but instead tolerance. What is tolerance? Quite simply, it is dealing with all of the crap that gets dished out. It also gives you boundaries beyond which you should not overstep.
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We have all had uncomfortable moments that are related to sex. Whether it was that horrible educational talk they give you in school, or an equally appalling conversation with your parents, regardless of specifics, the event probably happened to you. Now leaving the home front, we encounter something entirely new: the roommate.
The roommate ushers in a new style of life. This new style will bring into question one thing more than any other. I am not talking about questions of religion or virtue, but instead tolerance. What is tolerance? Quite simply, it is dealing with all of the crap that gets dished out. It also gives you boundaries beyond which you should not overstep.
Limit-setting is generally good for a college student to do. Knowing just how far you can take things is vital to one’s survival and seems obvious. However, when living with a total stranger, as often happens when first arriving at college, your limits are constantly being tested. Having had a small hoard of roommates while a resident on The University of Akron’s campus, I have had my tolerance tested repeatedly by a plethora of different things. The worst, however, falls under the category of sex.
If you think that discussing sex with guidance counselors or parents is awkward, the conversation where you ask your roommates to stop having rampant sex with their significant other, or a random stranger, while you are still in the room is much worse. Apart from being extremely rude to the roommate not partaking in the sexual encounter, this is the biggest over-share in the world.
No one wants to be included in this moment, and by having unrestrained sex in the dorms, all members of the floor are in your sex life. No longer is this a private matter; more than a couple of people are involved in your couple. Labeled as rabbits, this couple is the notorious one on the floor that everyone tries to avoid. No one wishes to take a shower when they may be around for fear of being in a shower stall across from a canoodling couple.
This is ridiculous and should not be an issue to begin with. However, each semester, the horror stories emerge of students who have been unfortunate enough to be in the stall adjacent to such scenes. What do you do in these moments? There are two options: lay down the law or tolerate it. You can be open and clearly state that this is not okay, forcing the questionable activity to stop. However, many chose to just keep their mouths shut and say nothing at all. In this case, you do so at your own detriment.
If something is bothering you, say something. A major part of growing up is learning to stand up for what you believe and learning your tolerance levels. Of course, another side of that is knowing just how inappropriate it is to be having wild shower sex in a community bathroom. Moving out of your parents’ house does not grant you the luxury of losing common courtesy. Sex is not all about hormones; it involves thinking, so think. Or, at the very least, don’t be rude.
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