Casey Anthony returns to headlines

Kara Hemphill

The name Casey Anthony probably rings a bell for many people: especially in an age where most of us are connected to the Internet for the better part of the day. John Cloud, writing for Time magazine, called it “the social media trial of the century.”

Maybe you followed the trial with rapt attention. Maybe you took a look at all the names involved that started with “C” and decided it was all too complicated. Or maybe you, like many, simply did not take interest in the court proceedings of such a gruesome case.

Such things tend to captivate some people while others turn their heads resolutely away in disgust. Here at the University of Akron, it seems that Anthony has worn out her welcome.

Christina White, a biology major, said she didn’t know much about the trial but found it to be “a little too much,” saying, “They’re just trying to exploit it, really.”

Jessica Cunningham, an accounting major, concurred: “I would say I’m kind of sick of it. They just need to let it go.”

“I followed it for awhile just out of curiosity,” admitted Chris Anthony, who then joked, “It made me ashamed of my last name.”

But friends, we can no longer ignore this case or pass it off as something irrelevant to our daily lives – because they have made a Lifetime movie about it.

Frankly, I’m surprised it’s taken them this long to capitalize on the cash cow that is the Casey Anthony trial. It has everything we need in a movie: murder, terrible parenting, a healthy dose of notoriety, and lawyers.

Most importantly, it allows us all to shamelessly snoop into the life of the woman who would be a formidable contender for a “Least Deserving of America’s Attention” award. I mean, at least Kim Kardashian’s only crime is being mildly annoying and having a famously large backside.

Unfortunately for Anthony, this great cinematic feat hasn’t done anything to lessen the crushing debt she’s racked up as a result of 2011’s highly publicized trial. She filed for bankruptcy this week, reporting almost $800,000 in debt, mostly to her lawyer.

The gossip mill is not done turning yet; lawyers say they will go ahead with civil cases despite the bankruptcy. One lawyer stated they expect her to profit from a book or movie deal at some point in the future.

I know what I thought when I saw this news, and that was, “Wow, I can’t wait for that to happen, because the first thing the world needs is more Casey Anthony!”

I know many others are probably bouncing out of their seats at the prospect of turning this case over and over once again. Personally, I’m hoping for a cameo appearance by O.J. Simpson.

We may never know if Casey Anthony is actually innocent or not, but at least we know we can turn on Lifetime any time in the next several years and relive this lovely period in murder-trial history again and again. On the other hand, if you’re looking for a more lighthearted dead horse to beat, never fear: there’s always Honey Boo Boo.