Patrick Stallings
Last summer one of my good friends was looking for a man’s perspective on why she had trouble meeting good guys. Her strategy mainly consisted of waiting at the bar to be approached by Prince Charming. But how often does that happen?
After a long back-and-forth conversation, I convinced her that she couldn’t always wait for the guy to “open the door” himself. She admitted, and maybe you can relate, that those particular Casanovas can end up being the biggest jerks of them all.
So do us guys have a responsibility to always make the first move? There can’t be that much harm in a little role reversal from time to time. Give it a shot. What’s there to lose? It’s working for my friend.
If you’re completely apprehensive to jump this hurdle, be aware that there are some do’s and don’ts to letting men know you’re interested. What sounds like a good idea in your head may actually make you out to be that stage five clinger who forces guys to abort all contact and completely disappear.
Figure out what’s holding you back. Most stressors preventing you to take that first step are completely irrational.
Keep your expectations reasonable. Never lower your standards, but don’t set unrealistic ones. Nobody’s perfect. Hear him out before
moving on.
Avoid being pushy. Just like you want guys to take a hint, think about what may make you a little standoffish that you wouldn’t want a guy to say or do.
Avoid quoting pop stars or comparing your life to a Taylor Swift song. It’s scary, not cute. I promise you, if a guy thinks it’s adorable, he’s secretly freaking out and looking for an escape plan. This just happened to my buddy while serving at his restaurant. A brave girl left her name and number on the receipt. Pretty flattering until she wrote down, “Call me, maybe.” This is a classic red
flag, ladies.
Realize a guy can get caught off guard if he’s not used to you initiating. I’ve been there. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not interested, just thrown off from your gutsy approach.
Finally, be positive that you’re ready for a relationship. Never seek someone out just because you’re tired of being single or because it’s Feb. 14. Do it because you’re happy with your life, but there’s one piece missing.
Meeting people to date is extremely frustrating for both sexes. As hopeless as it seems sometimes, there are certainly active ways to improve your love life. Try taking matters into your own hands. If you’re hesitant to completely blast through that ‘door’ of conversation, then crack it open a little. You can always let him take it the rest of the way to show you he’s interested.
