The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

Fleming's Fury

“The Akron advantage. You hear it all the time as the university tries to promote itself as a cutting-edge institution. The whole campus is wireless. There are new computers in the computer labs and state-of-the-art technology in the classrooms. If Akron had its way, every family would have two and one half kids, a meal on every table and two cars in every garage.”

The Akron advantage. You hear it all the time as the university tries to promote itself as a cutting-edge institution.

The whole campus is wireless. There are new computers in the computer labs and state-of-the-art technology in the classrooms.

If Akron had its way, every family would have two and one half kids, a meal on every table and two cars in every garage. A real utopia.

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By now you are probably wondering two cars in every garage … meals on tables … this doesn’t sound like a fury. Where is the anger?

You see, two cars in every garage works on so many levels. It’s a part of the dream scenario for a family, and it is also a representation of the only place you can park to go to class.

I live in North Canton and I might as well just walk to school. It would save gas and the sheer frustration of trying to figure out what the hell this university was thinking when it came to parking.

If I can walk away from this place having learned one equation, it would be this: closing down most of a parking deck + building a new dormitory = fun!

How can I enjoy the Akron advantage when I can’t even get to it? They can buy all the new wireless computers they want, it won’t change the fact that this campus has become a living hell. A hell in which each night the same scenario is close to coming to fruition.

Hmm, there is nowhere to park. I guess I’ll have to park off campus. My, this is a long walk, and someone is approaching me … ‘excuse me. Do you have a light?’ Sorry, sir, I don’t … ouch, stop hitting me!

The Akron advantage: Don’t bother coming, you won’t be able to park anywhere and you’ll probably just be beaten and robbed.

– Kiel Fleming

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