The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

Wearing specs to a bar

Helen Dauka

For the mildly introverted and slightly extroverted, here’s my suggestion
for decreasing awkwardness at a bar: Wear your glasses.

I know, typically you don’t associate four-eyes with a night out on the town, but hear me out. Here are all the pros of taking my advice.

1. You can get away with wearing less makeup.
I mean, you probably want to put some foundation on, but wearing less eye makeup is less noticeable. Maybe your contacts were bothering you, maybe you’re out of make-up or maybe you just don’t feel like going through the beauty routine. Take advantage of this opportunity either way!

2. You stand out.

Some might say not in a good way. This whole “glasses theory” isn’t for everybody. I personally know my “lady lumps” aren’t stand-out options for me, so clothes and accessories are my go-to (I mean, aside from witty conversation).

As much as it might make you stand out, it could also keep you off the radar of creeps who are only picking up on the female assets. WARNING:
Some creeps don’t care if you wore sweatpants to the bar. Don’t just look smart, be smart — proceed with caution.

3. They’re in style.
Glasses are okay. In fact, they might be cool. Thanks to the hipster trend–and other factors, probably–glasses are in. People who don’t even need glasses are buying fake ones. They’re the new accessory.

You know it’s mainstream when it’s at an American Eagle near you. You don’t need to jump on the bandwagon. You’ve already been on since you couldn’t tell if the exit sign read “Hipsterville” or “Dorktown” and the other passengers made you go to the eye doctor…long, loosely strung together metaphor.

4. It’s a conversation starter.
Personal testimony time: I get asked all the time if my glasses are real or have a prescription, especially since point three kicked into full swing. And I proudly tell them, “Yes!”

This is a perfect segue for me to say, “I’m so blind. Here, look!” And then I let them try my glasses on to see how blind I really am. Sometimes, I don’t even have to offer; I’ve had people ask to try my glasses on. Now, I’ve never had this happen, but I’m sure you could turn this into a game; if you trusted the person, try playing “How far can I see without my glasses?” WARNING: As great of an opportunity as this is, it’s also a great opportunity for them to DRUG YOU.

So there you go! The great thing about getting attention with your glasses is guys will always be looking at your eyes… probably? I don’t know, that’s just a guess.

This Friday, put your boobs away and take your glasses out.

(Delayed Disclaimer: This is intended for those less adventurous, more quirky and maybe less endowed and is in no way meant to be offensive to girls rocking low-cut tops and wminiskirts. You go, girls, no matter what you wear.)

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