The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

Ghosts only haunt your head

“If there is something strange in the neighborhood, who are you going to call? How about a psychiatrist, because you are probably dreaming it up. Ghosts, hauntings and possessions are a part of American folklore and just about everyone can recount a situation where a ghost was seen.”

If there is something strange in the neighborhood, who are you going to call?

How about a psychiatrist, because you are probably dreaming it up.

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Ghosts, hauntings and possessions are a part of American folklore and just about everyone can recount a situation where a ghost was seen. If everyone has heard of something, does that make it real? How about leprechauns, unicorns and hobbits, are they real because people have heard of them and in some cases reported seeing them?

Let’s face it, if ghosts existed there would be hard evidence of it by now. Not just blurry photos with mist and orbs, or a tape with a strange voice on it, but solid irrefutable proof.

With today’s technology shouldn’t someone have captured a full apparition on video by now? Ghost encounters should be commonplace. Shouldn’t there be an episode of 20/20 where Barbra Walters sits down with the ghost of JFK and discusses ghost politics?

The very fact that there is little official, government-run research into the paranormal, acts as proof to the contrary of the existence of ghosts. Why is it that the leading group of researchers, as far as the public is concerned, is led by two plumbers who have a TV show on the Sci-Fi channel? I remember the last time two plumbers had a show on TV, it was the short lived, yet strangely entertaining Super Mario Brothers show. Hell, Super Mario Brothers might be more believable than a ghost throwing books across a room.

It is possible that hard evidence does exist and does prove that ghosts are floating around as you read this. Maybe there are factions out there trying to keep the truth down.

If ghosts did exist, it probably would change everything people know and believe in.

Imagine having a conversation with a ghost and it telling you Yep … this is it. When you die, you are doomed to roam the earth as a massless blob of energy. Cursed to make small objects move in people’s houses and to scare them from time to time.

Wouldn’t that pretty much halt most religions? Sure they can try to explain it away as a phenomenon and a fluke, a lost soul. But proof that ghosts exist would contradict most teachings. Though in a weird way, Scientology would be proven right for the most part. Hmm. Perhaps if there is evidence it is better kept under wraps.

All joking aside, why is it that more people believe in ghosts then alien species from another planet?

There isn’t much more evidence for aliens then there is for ghosts, but extraterrestrials are a logical probability. An infinite number of planets in a space that has no boundaries, the stats alone say we aren’t alone in the universe.

There really is no way to justify the existence of ghosts. Sure we would all love to know for certain that a loved one is looking after us but there is no math to back it up. Ghosts are all speculation and hearsay.

I know what you are thinking, but all these unexplainable instances that happen. There has to be something to that.

Maybe there is or maybe it is as simple as no one as researched what happened in an objective enough manor.

I give the guys from TAPS a lot of credit in that they try to disprove ghosts instead of just saying, Something happened here, it’s haunted.

With that said, why not investigate something without paranormal activity being a possible solution?

Spend more than one night examining the scene where something strange happened. Let pure science dictate the cause. Leave any beliefs at home and let the numbers determine the outcome.

I hope I’m wrong about ghosts. I do hope they exist. It would be an amazing experience to sit down and talk with one. I hope a ghost catches wind of this column and decides to rough me up.

Actually, I’m going one step further. I’m calling these supposed ghosts out. If you exist, bring it on.

There isn’t a thing one of these spirits could do that would frighten me, because they don’t exist. I know nothing will happen. If they do exist and they are out there, they are obviously frightened of me then. I’m not going anywhere you floating waste of space. Come get me.

If Casper decides to show up and deck me, I’ll write another column, taking back everything I said. Then I’m joining the Ghostbusters. Hopefully I don’t cross the streams.

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