Greek Myth

By Russ Friend

Sitting in the back of a lecture hall gives me a great view of other students. Down in front of me a few rows sit some fraternity fellows. These poor schmucks are sure geek for the Greek.

I never knew so many pieces of clothing could be emblazoned with Greek letters that most of those who wear them cannot pronounce. Well, that is not entirely true. Once the weekend rolls around and they are drunk (again), they all have no problem shouting them out for hours. My favorite was their short-lived idea of a sorority slogan, “Omega Pi Pi Pi’s the apple of my eye!”

Where else but in Greek houses can one find kegs in the living room? All that fun could hurt one’s school work, but they have a solution, The Greek Test Network. Have a chemistry midterm next week in Professor Cobalt-60’s class? No problem. Why let the professor dope your brain with knowledge, in the hopes that your nucleus will enlarge, when there is beer to drink? No more endless nights of study. College is about setting priorities, and it is about time you started focusing on what really matters — babes and beer.

Okay, enough with the stereotypes. Fraternities create friendships that last a lifetime. No, sadly this does not include teary-eyed hugs and little kisses on the cheeks. Nor does it include weekend movie marathons of Brokeback Mountain. Brothers not only help brothers prepare for tests, but for life. A fraternity becomes a second family of friendship and support. Yes, it is true that few party harder than Greeks; however, they maintain a balance between work and fun.

One could do a lot worse than going Greek. One could look back upon college with the regret of missed opportunity. Worse yet, one could join the football team. Which may, or may not, use Brokeback Mountain as a motivational training film.