“Colbert ’08. That’s right. The best line this week came on Tuesday’s Colbert Report while Colbert discussed a news story about John Edwards trying to win the South Carolina vote. What the f—, y’all? Priceless. In otherWTF news, Marie Osmond fainted during Dancing with the Stars.”
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Colbert ’08.

That’s right.

The best line this week came on Tuesday’s Colbert Report while Colbert discussed a news story about John Edwards trying to win the South Carolina vote.

What the f—, y’all?

Priceless.

In otherWTF news, Marie Osmond fainted during Dancing with the Stars.

What the f—, y’all?

That was awesome. I mean, horrible. I hope she’s OK.

If you’re concerned about Ms. Osmond, you can check out the video of her passing out just about anywhere on the Internet.

Sadly, the judges only gave her a 21, even after she crumpled to the floor. Where’s the sympathy?

I do feel bad for Ellen Degeneres, though.

Thank goodness she had a long weekend to recover from personal tragedy.

Instead of doing a monologue one day last week, the lunatic had a meltdown on her show. This was all over a puppy she adopted but then decided had too much energy.

She then gave it to someone else, in violation of the adoption rules, which led to the agency removing the puppy. And then … Ellen freaked out, hysterical, weeping and sobbing on national TV.

Classic. And crazy.

Moving on. Let’s talk Jake Gyllenhaal.

I guess he’s in a movie or something, since he was on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Tuesday night.

Lose the beard, pal.

He was great. He talked smack on Meryl Streep, calling her a bitch. Of course, he didn’t mean it.

Even if he did, who cares? He’s adorable.

You know who else is adorable, if you’re into the pixie look?

Zac Efron.

Get serious.

He wears more makeup than a cheap hooker. Why is this guy a heartthrob to teenaged girls?

What the f—, y’all?

Here’s something I never thought I’d say: I am jealous of Lindsay Lohan.

Have you seen her new hair? The Farrah? Wow.

Of course, it won’t look so great when it’s got vomit in it after a long night of drinking and eight balls.

Speaking of which, Britney continues to not disappoint.

The trainwreck recently got her lips fluffed up. Yeah, that’s right.

However, when she was confronted by paparazzi, she kept her hand in front of her mouth so that her lips would not be photographed.

Wait. Didn’t she spend money to make her lips look different for us?

I want to see those things. You owe us! They’re just lips, after all.

I don’t get the issue here; after all, she doesn’t seem to have any problem showing us the ones on her vag.

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