“For weeks, I eagerly awaited their arrival. But Saturday, when the Discovery Channel’s MythBusters showed up at E.J. Thomas Hall to demonstrate how they use science to separate truth from myth, I was sitting alone in my bedroom – face pressed against my window, both fists clenched as tears gently streamed from my eyes.”
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For weeks, I eagerly awaited their arrival.

But Saturday, when the Discovery Channel’s MythBusters showed up at E.J. Thomas Hall to demonstrate how they use science to separate truth from myth, I was sitting alone in my bedroom – face pressed against my window, both fists clenched as tears gently streamed from my eyes.

OK, that might be a slight exaggeration, but when I was notified that I wouldn’t be permitted to attend the event, I could have cried.

I had been counting on covering the show for the Buchtelite since January. That’s why I e-mailed E.J. Thomas promotions coordinator Beth Lynch more than a month before the show asking for a media pass. When I e-mailed to remind her of my request last week, Lynch said she didn’t remember hearing from me and then responded to the inquiry by saying, Unfortunately, MythBusters is the hottest ticket in town and has been sold out for six weeks. Normally I would have a few media comps, but not for this show.

What? The show was too hot for media coverage? That defies logic. Perhaps the Buchtelite should only concern itself with covering mediocre acts.

What a sham. For a moment, I was very angry. Like, red face, ready to punch a wall angry. Within a few minutes, my enraged state deteriorated to one of whiney complaining, thus resulting in this column.

I missed the MythBusting duo of Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman Saturday night. I have no idea what their demonstration covered or what happened because no other media sources bothered to cover the event. (If you were one of the lucky few in attendance, could you let me know? I wonder if Jamie and Adam explained how to properly mix ballistics gel to replicate human flesh!)

But it’s OK. So what if the men responsible for the only modern TV show worth watching were in Akron. So what if I was minutes away, but unable to see or hear them. Yeah, I love the MythBusters, but I don’t need them. Neither do any of you.

I might not have a sweet mustache or the educational background to build robots and blow things up, but I can still bust myths. I’ll prove it!

President’s tunnel getaways

For years, students have spun tales about president Luis Proenza and his secret tunnels. Rumor has it that the president travels from building to building through the university’s tunnel system and that the tunnels lead to his private underground parking garage. Some have even suggested that the tunnels exist solely for the purpose of transporting Proenza in times of crisis.

I knew this would be a tough myth to tackle, so I started with the basics. The tunnel system definitely exists, so the tale is, at the very least, plausible. Monday, I attempted to get into the tunnels from Kolbe Hall, but was stopped by a maintenance staff member. He raised his voice when he saw me investigating what I believed to be one of the secret entrances. Aha! He was very protective. They must be hiding something in there!

However, during a conversation with the president last year, I jokingly mentioned the tunnel myth. He laughed at what he believed to be a ridiculous suggestion. Still, I could find no empirical evidence to completely disprove the belief.

Myth status: Highly unlikely

Schrank mountain

(Editor’s note: This myth-busting attempt is in no way an endorsement of illegal building climbing.)

During my freshman year, I heard two students discussing the weird sculpture design outside Schrank Hall. The two were confused about its purpose. One suggested, Maybe you can climb it to get to the top of the building! And so the myth was born

Two years later, I found myself on campus after 2 a.m. with a group of friends determined to see if it was possible. At first it seemed like it wasn’t, but after sliding inside the sculpture, we discovered scaling it was feasible. In fact, all four of us climbed to the top that night. Not to divulge names, but one member of the group had to relieve himself, but couldn’t wait to get down. So he peed into the Schrank courtyard.

It was awesome!

Myth status: Confirmed

The U Akron ghetto

I can’t believe how many times I’ve heard students refer to areas directly surrounding campus as the ghetto. Just last week, someone traveling to my house on Carroll Street was frightened because, according to him, I live in the middle of the ghetto. But is it really ghetto?

I began my research by attempting to understand the word. As defined by Wikipedia, a ghetto is an area where people from a specific racial or ethnic background are united in a given culture or religion and live as a group, either voluntarily or involuntarily. Most times, it is a sort of forced seclusion characterized by sub-par living conditions. The Americanized term originated from German camps during WWII, where Jewish families were forced to live in segregated and confined neighborhoods.

While the majority of people living around campus are students, most live there by choice. This one doesn’t seem very valid. I guess it’s just a common belief among stuck-up wealthy white kids who have spent most of their lives living in places like Stow and Hudson.

Myth status: Busted

The media myth

There has been a long running belief that performance venues generally seek out and appreciate media attention. It seems to make sense. However, after my recent interaction with E.J. Thomas, it appears that’s not actually the case. Future Buchtelite editors will need to take this into consideration before previewing any shows that come through the university owned building. This myth practically disproved itself.

Myth status: Busted

(Editor’s note: Arts & Life editor Dan Kadar hopes this column doesn’t impact his pending media request for Rent on April 20.)

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