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The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

The Editorially Independent Voice of The University of Akron

The Buchtelite

Movie critics should only bash justifiably

“It’s time for movie critics to lighten up. Normally, I enjoy reading reviews after seeing a movie to see how my tastes are similar or different from the writer’s. Doing so after watching TMNT – which I realize is totally a kid’s movie a college senior shouldn’t be watching – I was let down seeing it universally ripped apart.”

It’s time for movie critics to lighten up.

Normally, I enjoy reading reviews after seeing a movie to see how my tastes are similar or different from the writer’s.

Doing so after watching TMNT – which I realize is totally a kid’s movie a college senior shouldn’t be watching – I was let down seeing it universally ripped apart.

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In his review for the Chicago Tribune, Michael Phillips calls the movie lame, cold, ugly-spirited and hard on the eyes.

To Phillips’ credit, he thought the movie should have been similar to the original, more mature comic book. It’s possible he was right, and that’s a completely legit complaint. However, I’d guess the kids I saw triumphantly standing on top of their seats applauding the movie Saturday night would disagree.

Maybe my rant is only a product of being an old fanboy, but there just doesn’t seem to be a point to destroy a kid’s movie in a review.

It takes more than an awkward title attempting to sound cool to overcome its mundane plot and silly dialogue, wrote Claudia Puig of USA Today.

Someone must have forgotten to tell Puig, but the movie is about mutated walking and talking turtles that eat pizza, fully trained in the martial arts.

That’s not even mentioning that they live in a sewer, consider a ninja master rat their father and wear eye masks as though it could really disguise their identity.

They’re giant talking turtles! It would be weird to hear dialogue that isn’t silly.

Anyway, it’s possible that Puig was expecting dialogue worthy of Citizen Kane. Apparently, intelligent dialogue really appeals to little kids. Who knew?

The movie pretty much exists to sell tie-in products, said Kyle Smith of the New York Post in his review.

Smith wrote that like it’s some kind of revelation. Just about every movie geared toward children has product tie-ins and likely wouldn’t be green lit if merchandise weren’t involved.

It’s about as entertaining as watching little kids playing with their toys in the sandbox, he continued.

(Wait, who watches little kids playing in a sandbox? Whatever.)

Of course the movie isn’t going to entertain everyone, but it’s not trying to. It is intentionally going for lowbrow to grab kids and fans of the original movies and cartoon show.

Movie reviewers should keep this in mind with some movies. Not everything has to be timeless or award-worthy.

TMNT succeeds in pleasing the crowd it targets, thanks to its likable characters and brisk plot.

Maybe reviewers would enjoy a shocking twist like in an M. Night Shymalan movie. Or they would like to go home thinking about whether or not Raphael and Leonardo really mended fences.

The point is that there’s an unwritten rule on what you should expect going into a movie. A kid flick is going to be cheesy. A horror movie is going to be filled with a lot of blood and bad dialogue. A sports movie will have a lot of heart and cliches. There’s nothing wrong with any of those things in their given genre.

At the same time, I expect and want critics to bash movies that make a stab at greatness, like the recently released Shooter or Reign Over Me.

To tear apart a fun-loving and silly kids movie, though, is frugal. Although, you could probably say tearing apart critics is, too.

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