Staff Soundoff

“The foot tap, once an innocent pastime for nervous people, is now a potential innuendo? First it was the colored wristbands, now we have secret percussive pedal propositions? The real question is, what is the appropriate response when someone begins a rendition of Riverdance in the stall next to you? Does a courtesy flush signal willingness? Where do perverts come up with these moves? We all hate being out of the loop, and I am no exception.”

The foot tap, once an innocent pastime for nervous people, is now a potential innuendo?

First it was the colored wristbands, now we have secret percussive pedal propositions?

The real question is, what is the appropriate response when someone begins a rendition of Riverdance in the stall next to you?

Does a courtesy flush signal willingness?

Where do perverts come up with these moves?

We all hate being out of the loop, and I am no exception.

However, the last thing I want to do is accidentally send the wrong message to a horny, constipated bathroom patron.

Someone intends on just reaching down to motion their neighbor to spare a square, and ends up getting an adult implemental toy put in their hands. I can only hope this kind of stuff doesn’t happen in the women’s restroom.