“It’s quite possible that a significant number of University of Akron students weren’t alive when Motley Crue founder Nikki Sixx wrote in his journal. No matter. The journal has come to life as The Heroin Diaries, an account of an existence ravaged by despair, insanity and depravity.”
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It’s quite possible that a significant number of University of Akron students weren’t alive when Motley Crue founder Nikki Sixx wrote in his journal.
No matter.
The journal has come to life as The Heroin Diaries, an account of an existence ravaged by despair, insanity and depravity. The book, released Sept. 18, recounts a year from Sixx’s life, a period ravaged by a consuming heroin and cocaine addiction. Sixx co-wrote it with rock journalist Ian Gittins.
Sixx’s band Sixx: AM also released a soundtrack to accompany the book, with one track for each chapter of the book. The group consists of Sixx, DJ Ashba and James Michael.
The Heroin Diaries, which at times reads like a you’re-never-gonna-believe-this story, is drawn from the journal Sixx actually kept during that period. After reading several entries, one wonders how he had the wherewithal to articulate his thoughts in an organized manner.
For instance, on Christmas Day 1986, Sixx explains why he is writing in a journal.
I have no friends left … So I can read back and remember what I did the day before … So, if I die, at least I leave a paper trail of my life (nice lil suicide note).
He also mentions that he spent the day crouched naked under a Christmas tree with a needle in their arm like an insane person in a mansion in Van Nuys.
He doesn’t explain the logistics of crouching under a Christmas tree, but it’s probably not all that important in the scheme of things.
Two days later, Sixx talks about freebasing.
I love that moment, right before I put the glass pipe to my lips … that moment when everything is sane, and the craving, the salivating, the excitement all feel fresh and innocent. It’s like foreplay … the ache that’s always better than the orgasm.
Passages such as these – and there are quite a few – don’t exactly come off like an anti-drug message. However, there is a raw honesty that sometimes slips through, when he touches on the desperation he tries to overcome and the insanity that has slowly enveloped everything he does.
Why do I do this? I hate it … I hate it so much, but I love it even more.
It is this insanity of Sixx’s behavior that will keep readers from putting the book down. For instance, he tells how he once stopped at a Denny’s for a fix before going to the studio.
He filled a bottle cap with water from the toilet – a stained, black-ringed toilet with urine on the seat – to wash out the syringe that he then used to shoot heroin into his arm.
The Heroin Diaries is peppered with commentary from individuals who witnessed Sixx’s addiction. Bandmates Vince Neil, Tim Luzzi and perennial bad boy Tommy Lee, Sixx’s sister and drug counselor Bob Timmons are among those who participated in this project.
Photographs and drawings are scattered throughout the book, as are poems.
Insanity runs deep in/the company that I keep/Insanity runs deep in everyone but me/My padded walls you call my eyes/My dreams that you call my lies/Around my wrists my shackles lay/Razor blades and cocaine to pass/the time away.
Readers won’t walk away from this book with the resolve to steer clear of drugs, but that wasn’t necessarily Sixx’s intent.
As the book admits, it will undoubtedly satisfy the curiosity of those looking for detailed stories of rock ‘n’ roll mayhem and sordid tales of groupie conquests.
At the end of those stories, however, is the breakthrough that led Sixx into recovery. He has since become an activist for substance-abuse issues.
A portion of the book’s proceeds will go to Sixx’s charity, Running Wild in the Night, a fund-raising initiative for Covenant House California. The organization is committed to keeping at-risk children off the streets.
One after another, Sixx’s journal entries draw readers into his private hell, allowing them a sample of a lifestyle they have only imagined.
In the end, his depraved lifestyle might leave a bitter taste in their mouths, but The Heroin Diaries will have satisfied the palate.
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