'The Office' entertains, teaches grammar

“The verdict is in: Saturday Night Live still stinks. Considering last season, I already suspected that would be the case, but I settled in front of the television last weekend with an open mind. That didn’t last long. I have one question: Was LeBron draped in velvet for his monologue? Yay for the Angry Dog commercial.”

The verdict is in: Saturday Night Live still stinks. Considering last season, I already suspected that would be the case, but I settled in front of the television last weekend with an open mind. That didn’t last long.

I have one question: Was LeBron draped in velvet for his monologue?

Yay for the Angry Dog commercial. Michael Vick humor never gets old.

The Read to Achieve commercial was a treat, with LeBron snapping on an annoying little twerp who slammed a basketball into his head.

Unfortunately, about 30 minutes in, I was kicking myself for choosing SNL over schoolwork.

In fact, the schoolwork was looking more appealing by the minute after bits like the charity auction, High School Musical 3 and Lyle Cane.

However, it looks like I’m sticking with SNL for at least one more week, as Seth Rogen is hosting next.

Kanye West was unbelievably good. His two performances made me want to buy his new CD.

I  haven’t bought a CD in about 10 years, but at least I’m thinking about it.

Speaking of music, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announced its 2008 nominees for induction.

I’m embarrassed to repeat them here, but I can’t ignore the insanity. I’ll skip over Madonna. But John Mellencamp and the … the … Beastie Boys?

You mean the Beastie Boys of You’ve got to fight for your right to party?

I have nothing to say about that.

I do, though, have one thing to say about The Office: dangling participle.

I confess: I don’t watch David Letterman anymore, but I did catch a clip of his interview with Paris Hilton on his Sept. 28 show. Kudos to him.

He immediately began asking her about prison. Letterman was on fire, grilling away at Paris as she awkwardly answered his questions. She won’t be coming back for a while, that’s for sure.

The audience was screaming in laughter and poor Paris seemed like she was about to cry.

Apparently, she was annoyed that he wanted to ask her about her time in the slammer rather than her clothing line and new perfume.

It’s almost sad that she thinks people are interested in talking about her business ventures.

Sharon Osbourne recently said that she and Ozzy wish to be put down if they are ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. They will zip off to Switzerland and be euthanized.

I’m not looking forward to Alzheimer’s either, but this seems a tad weird.

Your homework for tonight: Watch 30 Rock, with special guest star Jerry Seinfeld. Yay!

Dangling participle. Ha!