Sloppy eater nervous for big date

“Ms. DoRight, I’m going out with my girlfriend for Valentine’s Day and I’m pretty nervous about it. We’ve only been dating a short while, and she has never actually seen me eat. I’m not a slob exactly, but I’m probably not the neatest guy. We’re going out to dinner at a nice restaurant and I’m worried that my disgusting table manners will turn her off.”

Ms. DoRight,

I’m going out with my girlfriend for Valentine’s Day and I’m pretty nervous about it. We’ve only been dating a short while, and she has never actually seen me eat. I’m not a slob exactly, but I’m probably not the neatest guy. We’re going out to dinner at a nice restaurant and I’m worried that my disgusting table manners will turn her off. I usually only go out to eat for beer and wings. Any advice on how I am supposed to act at a nicer place?

Thanks,

Mr. Piggy

Mr. Piggy,

If you do not handle this date with care, you will mess up the whole relationship. Mark my words.

Some women are very concerned about table manners, and rightly so.More men should be concerned about their behavior at the dinner table.

This is probably why so many restaurants go under-not enough people go on dates because not enough people can behave like human beings when they eat somewhere in public.

The first thing to remember is that you do not want to tuck a napkin into your dress shirt. That will make you look like a four year old, or a guy at a hotdog eating contest.

Most women don’t normally want to be reminded of kids or heavy-eaters on a big date.

If you are wearing a necktie tie, try tucking it into your shirt. If it is a clip-on, make sure you don’t pull it off.

When your food arrives, don’t put your elbows on the table. I know you’re probably used to this from your wing-eating nights, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for date nights.

Also, don’t wipe your mouth across your hand. Or your nose, for that matter. Unless, of course, you’re at a restaurant that serves cocaine.

The big rule is to keep your elbows off the table. Everyone knows this rule, and some people might even think it has become overrated, but that’s not true.

It’s still just as important as it ever was. If you put your elbows on the table, it will be a surefire hint that you have no idea what you’re doing.

The easiest way to get through this date is to remember to be polite. Don’t eat sloppy foods and don’t hold your fork as if it were a bludgeoning tool. Just eat, have a good time and relax.

But don’t burp.