“Ms. DoRight, I’ve been wondering about how someone is supposed to act on Facebook. I have a friend that I’m very good friends with in real life, but she drives me nuts on Facebook. She is constantly sending me these strange applications, which I just ignore and when she asks about it, in real life, I tell her that maybe there is something wrong with my account.”
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Ms. DoRight,

I’ve been wondering about how someone is supposed to act on Facebook. I have a friend that I’m very good friends with in real life, but she drives me nuts on Facebook. She is constantly sending me these strange applications, which I just ignore and when she asks about it, in real life, I tell her that maybe there is something wrong with my account. After this, she resends it. I don’t know what to do. Also, she keeps giving me these werewolf hugs or zombie high-fives or something, and if I don’t respond, she gets mad on Facebook and in real life. How do I tell her, without being rude, that all her Facebook interactions are really pissing me off?

Thanks,

Facebook Schmacebook

Schmacebook,

Don’t worry; you’re not alone in your Facebook quandaries. Facebook is practically its own country by now. This means it comes with its own set of laws and morals.

Think about it. In real life, it is not acceptable to give someone, even your top friend, a zombie hug or a super poke. No one even knows what these things are, anyway.

If someone started super poking people they barely know, I don’t think anyone would be the least bit surprised to see that person arrested.

The best way to deal with the vast world of Facebook is to establish clear boundaries.

Tell your real life friends that you refuse to do anything on Facebook that you would not do in real life.

Of course, in real life, you cannot post comments on someone’s wall.

Granted, some exceptions, and maybe even some sacrifices will have to be made.

The strangest aspect of Facebook is how much it is spoken of in real life.

This is always awkward, because it brings out the absurdity of the whole thing.

People generally sound ridiculous holding serious conversations about growing gifts, catbook and werewolves.

Well, some people talk about werewolves anyway, but watch out for them. They might actually be werewolves.

If I were you, I would tell your friend that you are willing to be friends with her on Facebook, but you are not willing to devote most of you waking hours to keeping that friendship alive.

Tell her you signed up for a social networking site, not a three-ring circus.

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