Dear Miranda

Miranda Roth

This guy and I have been hanging out and talking for about a month now. He’s never been in a relationship before, but I know we like each other. I keep expressing my feelings in small ways such as letting him know I would like to get to know him better, but he just doesn’t respond to anything or talk about it at all. I want to move forward, but how? Should I keep trying or just leave him be?

First things first, it’s been a month. I know some people like to work fast when it comes to relationships, and maybe that’s you, but I encourage you to enjoy this time of getting to know each other without all the things that come from a more serious relationship. Since this could be his first possible relationship, he may be trying to feel things out a little bit longer too. He might be nervous because he’s never done this kind of thing before. What you’re doing by encouraging him is good and you should keep doing this to build up his confidence in this area. The more confident he is that you like him, the more he is going to be willing to take that step forward.

While you’re growing closer and building a foundation for your relationship, make sure that you keep your heart guarded. There is no guarantee that this guy likes you the way you think he may. I know this is not the news you were really hoping to hear, but truth is truth and the more you know the better the outcome.

Unfortunately, people use people for all sorts of reasons. Whether it’s just for a good time, to make them feel better, or to get back at someone, they’re not always looking for a relationship.

I’m not saying that this guy has ill intentions, but it is always a good idea to let your emotions follow after there is some sort of truth leading the way. Once there is solid knowledge that this relationship is going to the next level, allow yourself to open up a little more.

This can be a long process, but I’m sure he’ll appreciate your patience as he figures out how best to go about this. Don’t give up hope. Enjoy the time you spend together and be patient. Encourage him as he steps into this new part of life and wait for the moment when you can really open up to him in a more serious relationship. Keep trying, but don’t make it your No. 1 priority. It wouldn’t be fair to him if you just stopped trying, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to try too hard. Remember, there is no formula to how relationships work. Use your best judgment and when your gut tells you to move closer or further away, listen to it.

Wishing you the best,