“I cannot stress enough how important today is. The one-hour season premiere of The Office airs tonight at 9. Be there. And at the opposite end of the wonderfully awesome spectrum lies Prince. His Purple Highness is preparing to sue video sites for allowing users to download his music videos for free.”
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I cannot stress enough how important today is.

The one-hour season premiere of The Office airs tonight at 9. Be there.

And at the opposite end of the wonderfully awesome spectrum lies Prince.

His Purple Highness is preparing to sue video sites for allowing users to download his music videos for free.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t Prince be happy that 17 or so people still find him entertaining?

In other diva news, everyone is all abuzz about Jennifer Lopez possibly being pregnant. Who cares? As of late, she has dressed conspicuously, in flowing outfits that are anything but revealing.

Again, who cares? I just don’t get the hubbub over pregnant celebrities.

A special effects technician died Tuesday on the set of the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight, when a truck he was riding in crashed into a tree. Kapow!

Semi-funny lady Maya Rudolph did a 180 this week. The Saturday Night Live star announced she was leaving the show Monday and on Tuesday said she would return.

Rumor has it, she was holding out for the payola.

All I can say is, if Rudolph can get Lorne Michaels to cave, well, that’s not saying a lot about the cast of SNL.

Sure, I could see Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler or Will Ferrell – or Upper Darby, Pa. native Tina Fey – being able to demand the big bucks, but Rudolph?

Oh, boy. Looks like we’re in for another crappy season.

Kiefer Sutherland, whose career took a dramatic up-turn when he signed onto the wildly popular 24, reportedly made an illegal U-turn in the wee small hours of Tuesday morn.

According to reports, Sutherland had been drinking, and blew more than twice the legal limit. Oops.

Turns out it was his fourth DUI.

Big oops. Oh, Kiefer.

A few weeks ago, I complained about Rolling Stone.

I take it back.

Imagine my surprise when the mailman delivered the Oct. 4 issue with … Hunter S. Thompson on the cover. Inside, readers are treated to a seven-page oral history piece about the Gonzo journalist.

Bless you, Rolling Stone. Bless you.

Granted, next week’s issue might have ________ on the cover, which will make me hate them again. But not this week.

Facebook has finally arrived. It appears that sexual predators are utilizing the site to target teenagers.

But, more important, Facebook administrators are reportedly not responding to concerns, even though they’ve been brought to their attention.

Facebook must be too busy getting itself valued at 13 bajillion dollars, apparently.

Bad Newz for dog lover Michael Vick. He dropped a dirty urine while sitting at home awaiting sentencing.

Now he is grounded, prohibited from leaving his home between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.

That news came just one day after the grand jury indicted him on new charges related to dogfighting.

Now go watch The Office.

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